I watched Wanted last night, you know the film which showed James McAvoy curving bullets? Yah, that one. Well I was watching it, and there was this scene which fully revealed all the tattoos, some of which were temporary, on Angelina Jolie’s naked body. 

Of course it was a shot from behind, no full frontal business here. As much as both guys and girls would have liked to see, we all know Jolie has a wonderful body, and she’s also had some kick-ass tattoos for the film (featured above).

This got me wondering however, if tattoos are suitable on a girl’s body. Every woman is entitled to put a tattoo or two (or gazillions if your name is Amy Winehouse) on their body and I have nothing against that. It’s just when they do it, they do it wrong. 

Take Jodie Marsh for example. This plastic woman got a sign of the A127 tattooed on her arm, next to another of a motorcycle. 

If you’re going to tell a story in tattoos, make it worth inking on your skin, not just how you went to the shops or something like that. 

There are hundreds and thousands of women out there shaming their bodies with gruesome tattoos like Jodie’s, who appear to have been drawn by a comic artist from the Daily Mail. And it’s the guys who I feel sorry for who find they have bedded a girl who’s walked straight out of a Year 7 art class (using the metaphor of horrible drawing, not paedophilia). 

But if I brought a girl home and found out she had tattoos like Angelina Jolie’s in the film Wanted, I’d be over the moon. I’m surprised she only had them done for the film. If I was her I would have got them permanently inked. 

With her previous castings as Lara Croft, these scriptures and designs look totally relevant, and in a way, reflect Jolie’s personality as an open minded, adventurous person, willing to take on new roles in films. 

Oh wait, that’s a good conclusion. Tattoos represent a person’s personality and way of living. If that’s the case, then yes, Jolie is an adventurous and culturally open-minded person, which she is seeing as she’s kindly adopted poorly children from across the world. So if that’s true, then Marsh’s tattoos should make her a cheap, brainless and ugly person with no aura except the belief in fakery.

I think her plastic tits and tupperware nose, along with her cheap slutty make-up make her all that, don’t you think guys and girls?